Fun At Work

I  NOTICED TODAY THAT BIRDS FLY LEFT TO RIGHT OVER THE FREEWAY AS I drive to work in the morning. They fly in twos and threes and groups. Always left to right. I wonder why?

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WORK.  It's important for me to have fun at work. After all, I spend spend more time at the office than I do at home. Lately, it's been a challenge to find "happy" at work. I've had to consciously look for the good so I've started a list: 

• Pandora.com:  a free internet radio station that plays the music I like (piano solos by George Winston; original songs by Keiko Matsui, smooth jazz keyboardist and composer; the haunting vocals of Enya).
• Tiny birds singing their sweet song to me as I walk from my car to the building.
• Quotes from Mark Twain:  "If you have to eat a frog, don't look at it too long."

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WORK. No one calls any more. No one sends me emails. It's hard to feel any energy or interest in completing projects. It seems a lot of the projects I was working on no longer need to be done. I want to turn this around somehow so that I feel what I do is of value here.

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WORK.  Whew! I found a new project to focus on. I've decided to update tons of my documents, presentations and class materials and send them to people in different areas and groups before I leave. That way, all my knowledge and experience isn't lost. I'm happy now. This is important. No one has thought of it yet. And it's a huge project that will keep my busy for months.

What makes you feel like you make a difference at work?

May fun surround you today.

Warmly,


Catherine

No Coinkydink

W ORK.  JOEL, THE PHONE GUY, CALLED ASKING FOR INFORMATION  ABOUT MY phone. Guess we're all getting new phones. Why? Most of us won't be here come March.

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INSPIRATION. Went for a short walk at work. Just a few birds on the power pole, icy air, blue skies. Said hello to the pine trees. One dropped a needle right at my feet. I walked past it a few steps and then turned around to pick it up. It not nice to ignore a gift.

Sat on my bench and gave thanks to all the trees. Breathe in clarity, breathe out gratitude. The trees waved to me and I waved back. Sitting on the bench; the sun behind me and the shade before me. Whispering:  Much like the duality of man...or anything really...two sides to a coin. Is one side better than the other? No. On creates the other, one exists with the other, one exists for the other. It is the contrast of each that helps us appreciate the other, so both are good. You have only to decide which way to face:  light or dark, sun or shade.

I practiced breathing. In 123 out 45678. I want to breathe like that all the time without thinking.

As I walked away, the breeze blew my path clear leaving only a brown, burgundy, yellow and orange maple leaf. I picked it up to join the pine needle on my desk as a reminder of Mother's gifts. Thank you.
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CONFESSION. Bill gave me a baggie of Cheetos. I popped several into my mouth as I waked to his desk to remind him I eat organic food. He said, "uh huh" and pointed out the glow-in-the-dark yellow ring around my mouth.

Alright. I admit it. I have a weakness for crunchy, salty, oily stuff. We don't have chips in my house (obvi!) so whenever I go to a party, I sidle up to the chip bowl...and stuff them into my mouth...two fisted. It's really embarrassing.

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DECISION. It takes conscious effort to create positive feelings in this work environment. If thought creates (and it does), then I need to focus on a good work environment (not one that is dying), working with happy people (not sad ones), in a growing company. I've decided to keep working on this.

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REALIZATION. I noticed Bill had an eye twitch on his right eye early this morning. At 11:51 am, I had an eye twitch on my right eye. This can't be a coinkydink. "How much of this twitch is mine?" (love this question that Peggy Black taught me). 0%. "I return this to where it belongs. I transmute it to light and uplift it to love." Result: My eye twitch disappeared and hopefully so did Bill's.

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CREATION.  I have found one of the quickest and easiest way to imagine what I want is to open up a Word doc and start typing with no regard for punctuation or grammar. I write until there's nothing left. For example, "I want to work at a company that I'm proud to work at that does good work that has a great reputation and treats its employees with honor and respect doing work that makes a difference that is appreciated..."

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OBSERVATION.  It is true. Time is relative. And flexible. It moves so slowly when there is nothing urgent or important or interesting to work on. Yet when my mind is occupied, time quickens. Today I looked for important little tasks to focus on. I like to play games with myself to see how fast I can complete them or I look for ways to do them faster (such as eliminating a key stroke here or there). I'm easily entertained, but then again, I'm also really happy and time passes more quickly.

What little tricks do you have to make time pass quickly?

May you work with purpose today.

Warmly,


Catherine

Driving Miss Lazy

I am normally a very calm person. I have very low blood pressure. In fact, if it was any lower, I'd be dead.

So it is unusual for me to feel nervous and anxious and fearful.

I reserve these feelings for whenever I am in the passenger seat of the car that Alexis, my 25 year old daughter, is driving.

"Slow down! Brake! Can't you see that the car 15 cars up is braking?"

Now I know she's young and has lightening-fast reflexes. Yet somehow, I feel anxious.

Solution:  I now joyfully climb into the front passenger seat, tuck a pillow behind my head, and lower the seat back so I'm prone.

Now the only view I have is the blue sky and the fluffy white clouds. Ahhh!

She's not driving Miss Daisy. She's driving Miss Lazy.

What do you do to keep your sanity while your child is driving a car?

May calmness surround you.

Warmly,

Catherine

My Daily Inspirations

I start each day by lolling around in bed and going on a mental rampage of appreciation:  my bed is soft, yet supportive; my pillow is so comfortable; my sheets are soft and warm...

As I brush my teeth, I read my Abraham-Hicks calendar. "...In your multi-faceted world, with your highly technological communication system, there is a tremendous amount of stimulation of thought that is received by you that is counter to that which you want. And so, conscious affirming, in every day, of what you are most wanting, is of tremendous value." (Daily Planning Calendar, The Science of Deliberate Creation:  Abraham-Hicks Planning Calendar by Esther and Jerry Hicks and the teachings of Abraham, available on Amazon.com or abraham-hicks.com > Store > Calendars).

Today, I want to feel joy in every moment. And please help the remodel of my bathroom go smoothly. Please send assistance so it is easy and effortless.

The calendar is a 365 day course in spiritual practicality. It's my third year through the calendar and I swear there are new quotes that I never read before. This calendar as the #1 reason I'm in such a good space even when there's drama and trauma nearby. 

I've also started meditating for at least 15 minutes a day. Listening to Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditations CD (see Amazon.com or abraham-hicks.com > Store > Books) has gotten me to meditate for the first time in my life. "It is nice to have an opportunity to visit about the subject of this recording, for it has been created especially to help you in the following way:  When you are in a state of allowing, which means you have quieted your mind--or focused your mind in such a way that there is an absence, or a decreasing, of resistant thought--your vibration naturally rises. Now, what that means is, you are coming closer and closer to Vibrational alignment with who-you-really-are, to the frequency of your Source, and to the frequency of your Inner Being--and under those Vibrational-alignment conditions, you must thrive. And so, our recording has been devised with the intent that you might set aside 15 minutes each day where--as you simply listen and relax and breathe--you will naturally come into a different Vibrational state."

Please get your own copy of this CD and book. It is the absolutely the easiest way for you to get all the good things you want in life:  health, financial abundance, loving relationships. Just listen to it, relax and breathe. It's that easy.

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Drove to Lowe's in San Jose to look at bathroom fixtures. Wow! Now I know why people love Lowe's. We were there for 2 hours and Sam helped us pick out everything, down to rubber washers and little connectors. I am now officially a Lowe's fan. Another thing that sets them apart from the other big box home improvement store are their displays. They're easy to see and at the right angle. The other store has the faucets displayed on a wall, but at a strange angle where the bottom sticks out further than the top. You can't see what the faucet would look like from a real-life angle. It's kinda like looking up someone's nose. You can't tell what their nose looks like when you're looking at it from below. Lowe's had the faucets displayed at a normal angle and I bought the tub faucet, sink faucet, pretty-bead brushed-silver-oval-medicine-cabinet-that-I-can't-wait-to-put-up, and other good stuff.

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Alexis hurt her back in a rock climbing class so we made an appointment with Dr. Julia Lewis in San Jose. She's the best chiropractor you will ever meet. If you've never been to a chiro because you're afraid, she's the one to go to. I was rubbing my neck and shoulder while in her waiting room. I was thinking I might need an adjustment, but after she worked on Alexis, my neck and shoulder felt fine. Oopsie! Guess I picked up Alexis' pain without realizing it. Gotta work on noticing when that happens.

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Helped Johnny with the bathroom remodel: handing him paper towels, turning the house water on/off, reading installation instructions. I think it went well ("Man, we got lucky on that" and "that was easier than I thought"), although he probably that it should have gone quicker. Thank goodness Ace Hardware is about three minutes from my house.

I'm exhausted. I don't know why. All I did was sit on the toilet and watch Johnny work all day.

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I hope things are easy and effortless for you today.

Warmly,


Catherine

The Joy of Screwing

Johnny was up at 7:30 working on the bathroom remodel.

I helped him tear out drywall, wrestle the old tub out and handed him tools.

At one point, he handed me the electric screwer or drill or whatever it's called, so I could unscrew the drywall. Boy, was that fun! Hearing the whine of the drill. And so satisfying when that screw comes out of the wall. Who knew screwing could be so fun? This has got to be the best kept secret. These really are toys for boys. And I want some! Maybe I'll get a bigger drill. Do I need one? What would I screw? Or maybe some other big thing that I plug in that makes a lot of noise.

There was so little room to maneuver that tub, it took me and Johnny two hours to get it out.

Bill came over. It took him and Johnny two minutes to set the new tub. It was a miracle from heaven. I just don't understand how they did it.

I'm really impressed with Johnny. He worked quietly all day, he was pleasant to be around and he's so patient. He never cursed, yelled or threw anything. I just tried to stay out of the way and help when I could (OK, so I did bring in a lot of golden light, and some white light, then some blue light and green light for good measure, then yellow and a little purple). The tub looks great. Tomorrow we buy faucets and such.

May you be surrounded with those who assist you willingly and with a smile today.

Warmly,


Catherine

Giving Thanks

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Got up early this morning. Me, Alexis, Bachan and Johnny piled into the car and were on the road to Sacramento by 8:00 am. Very little traffic. 

My middle brother, Randy, lives there with his wife Patti (the most amazing scrapbooker on the planet and my bestest friend ever) and my nieces, Jenny-Penny and Ambergini.

I was thinking I'd do Thanksgiving dinner, but Alexis thought our little family get-together would be pitiful now that Jichan (my step-dad) is gone. And she thought Johnny would like seeing the girls.

So the Asian horde descended on Sacramento. Patti (the white girl of the family with Ohio roots) made an amazing dinner. Jenny whipped up spinach with crispy shallots and an asparagus dish. Patti's Mom brought the fluffiest mashed potatoes I've ever seen (the secret:  a stick of butter and a brick of cream cheese). Alexis got the drumstick and we sampled three different desserts.

We went around the table:  I am grateful for my loving family. I'm grateful we're all pretty healthy. I grateful ebree ting (Bachan).

We used the wii to sing karaoke songs from Glee, Season 1. I can only pray the vids don't make it to YouTube. We were so bad the dog was howling and shaking her head.

Then we went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1. FUN! I won't tell you anything about it in case you haven't seen it yet. Can't wait to see Part 2.

The drive home took over three hours because of traffic. Tired, but happy. It was a really great Thanksgiving.

I hope you had a long list of things you are grateful for this year.

May bounty surround you today.

Warmly,


Catherine

The Best Brother Ever

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I'm off work today.

My baby brother, Johnny, is here for Thanksgiving, and on Thursday he's going to remodel my bathroom. It's so horrifying, I don't even want you to see a picture of it. Oh, wait. I don't know how to download a photo yet. Well, I'll learn how and at least show you the "after."

As a treat, we stopped by Starbucks for a fancy holiday coffee. I got a small (you can tell I'm not a Starbuckian since I didn't call it vente or tall or whatever the heck it's called) Caramel Brulee Latte. Yum! Johnny wanted a fancy coffee and a sugar cookie. As I got ready to pay for his goodies, he said, "You don't have to do that."

Cathy:  You're remodeling my bathroom for nothing.

Johnny:  I'm your brother.

Cathy:  A brother buys you a pretty sweater. He doesn't buy you a new bathroom.

Johnny:  This one does.

Awwww! Isn't he wunnerful? I just love him!

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After I got that white envelope from my boss, just for a nanosecond, I thought about returning the bathroom materials for a refund. But then I decided: I've been planning this for a long time; the world is going to have to catch up to my dreams.

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May you stand by your dreams today.

Warmly,

Catherine

Whispering

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I was up way too long last night and I'm dragging today.

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Mother washed the earth last night and scrubbed the air squeaky clean.

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I pulled into my favorite gas station this morning. A tanker was filling the underground tanks with fuel. I felt a tiny hesitation inside me and drove through the station instead of stopping. It felt like a whisper without sound. A thought floated up that filling the underground tanks might stir up sediment that would go to the pump and then into my car...so I went to another station. I find the little promptings I get are quiet...like a gentle breeze blowing through me. They're so quiet, they're easy to ignore. It seems my mind likes to rationalize them away. But I prefer to listen to them. I think they're guidance. Maybe that's how superstition was born...people ignoring promptings and then blaming something outside themselves (like a black cat).

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Did you see the moon tonight? Sometimes moonlight pours through my window and I like to sleep in her pearlescent shimmer.

I'm Tired of Being the Man

Monday, November 22, 2010

I still haven't opened the white envelope my boss gave me a week ago.

But I did call the 800 number to ask about my retirement benefits.

Then I thought I'd chat with my accountant.

I asked him if my retirement pension would be taxed and how much I would get. Was it a 401K? I don't think so. Did you contribute to it? I don't think so. It was a long time ago, with a different company.

If you take it out now before you're 59 1/2, you'll be penalized. You'll only get 40% (or maybe it was 60%). You don't want to do that. You'll lose 60%...

I was slammed with a feeling in my gut so strong I thought I was going to be sick.

I felt dizzy and was reeling in my chair.

I mumbed something about calling him back.

I had to get out of there.

I went outside for a walk...and sat on my bench by my trees.

I want to feel better.

"Child."

I want to feel better. I feel sick.

"Child."

I want to feel better. I think I'm going to be sick.

"CHILD. Breathe. Trees. Breathe. Sky. Breathe."

Oh, breathe. I can do that. Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...(I could hear Esther Hicks' voice in my head from the "Getting Into the Vortex" Meditation CD).

I felt better. Hmmm. They've (those that watch over me) never yelled at me before. Guess they had to because I wasn't listening.

Breathe in...breathe out...trees help me...breathe in...breathe out...birds, I see birds...birds mean freedom...they fly anywhere...my thoughts can fly anywhere...they can fly someplace good or someplace bad...I choose good...green trees...clean air...warm sunshine...I'm OK...it is OK...I'm OK.

Whew! Yuk! That felt awful. Now that I've calmed down and back to myself, I realize those horrifying, nauseating feelings weren't mine. I picked them up from my accountant. I know they're not my feelings because I never feel really bad intense feelings like that and I was perfectly fine a second before he talked to me. I gotta remember to put a column of golden light around me before I call him again.

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I picked up my baby brother, Johnny, at the airport. He flew in for Thanksgiving and plans to remodel my bathroom. When I saw him at the curb, I got all weepy. I felt relieved...just for a second...that he was going to take care of me. I don't mean forever and I don't mean financially, I just mean he was going to take care of little things (OK, so remodeling a bathroom isn't little, but he does a lot of other things while he's here like replace a headlight and install a new water filter) or maybe I mean he was going to care for me.

Sometimes I get tired of being the man of the house. You know, unplugging toilets, touching up the molding with paint, trying to fix the latch on the gate. I get cranky and have a hissy fit about once every couple years. Maybe I'll send myself a Father's Day card this year.
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I drove Johnny, Bachan ("obachan" means grandmother in Japanese; when Alexis was little she used to yell "bachan" so much that now everyone calls my Mom "bachan") and Asako to San Francisco to a Japanese festival highlighting the beauty of Japanese culture and the passing of the seasons in the Ishikawa prefecture (on the main island of Japan, known for its arts and crafts and cultural traditions). Bachan doesn't get excited about much. In fact, she often says "closer closer" in any conversation (meaning "I'm getting closer to the grave" or "I am closer to death"). So when showed me the newspaper announcing the festival and smiling and saying how much she would love to go, I knew I wanted to take her.

We made it OK to the City. It took a little while to walk to the event. Bachan is Japanese. She doesn't walk, she shuffles...slowly...so I tend to herf her from behind trying to get her across the street before the light turns red, "come on...you're doing great...5 more seconds before the light turns red...keep going...you can do it." Whew.

We get inside and find good seats. The emcee greets us and announces the events. There are 140 performers. A female choir group sings four or five songs, a men's choir that sings a couple songs, then the men and women sing together, there is poetry...crrk...ccrkk...crrkrrCCRRK. I look over. It's Bachan...trying to wrestle the wrapper off a hard plum candy. She has no teeth so she can't tear it off. I give her the evil eye. Big mistake. It scares her, she squeeze the bottom of the wrapper, the candy shoots out of the wrapper, flies into the air, hits the floor and then Bop...pop...papapapapa...as it rolls down the floor to the stage.

Someone plays a biwa (short-necked flute), sword and fan dances, shamisen (three-stringed banjo; doesn't she need to tune that thing?), folk songs, models wearing kimonos, ballet ("is tha you baby?" Bachan yells to the man in front of her. Of course it's his baby, he didn't find it on the street. "Don you lose." He's not going to lose the baby. How do you lose a baby?), kokyu (stringed instrument played with a bow), choir ("sing along if you know the words;" Johnny says, "He has no idea what he has done." Bachan begins singing at the top of her lungs).

I'm tired, this thing goes on for hours. It cost $20. I would have paid double that if they would have cut the show in half. I tried to sleep without looking like I was sleeping, but the four women Taiko drummers woke me up.

My favorite part was watching three women dress a woman in Jyunihitoe, an elegant and complex 12-layer kimono worn in ancient times by women at court. It was magical...spectacular. The colors and arrangement are important. The inner most garment is white. Others colors follow with names such as "crimson plum of spring." Altogether they weigh 44 lbs!

And the drummers were amazing. We get home after midnight...yawn...I'm up at 5:30 to get ready for work.

Note to Self:  Find out how long an event lasts and take all hard candy away from Bachan.

I Feel Rich

I was up late last night so this morning in lounged around in bed until 9:44 am. That's really late for me since I'm usually up at 5:30. Somehow I feel rich today (only a rich person would stay in bed this long).

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The sun is out after days of rain and the sky is an expansive blue. A shaft of sunlight shines on me and there's a part of me inside that throws her arms in the air and dances around in a circle. I admit it:  I'm solar-powered. When the sun is out I feel happy and energized. I think I'll clean the living room, and scrub the toilet, maybe get my car washed, rearrange my closet, plant some flowers by the front door, drive my Mom around on errands, go to the health food store, drop a package off at Mail Boxes Etc., do laundry, send donations to my favorite charities (PG&E, the water company, and others), call Johnny to confirm his travel plans, and and and...

I'm just like the Energizer Bunny...only I'm not pink, and my ears aren't long, I don't wear sunglasses, and I don't pound on a drum, but other than that, we're exactly the same.

Oh, the sun slipped behind a cloud.

The brightness is gone.

Maybe I'll just lay here for a while.

The sun's out again. I jump up to stand in a sunbeam, palms out to absorb the Light. Fill me. Heal me. Warm me.

Now it hides behind a baby cloud, but I just smile. I know it's playing peek-a-boo with me and will come out agin.

I'm beginning to trust. I'm beginning to relax. I'm beginning just to be.

Be happy in this delicious moment while eagerly anticipating the next one.

Somehow I feel rich today.
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I'm famished and decide to have brekkies at my fav restaurant, River Street Cafe. Fried farm eggs sitting on a bed of potatoes and spicy rounds of sausage, plus a big glass of pomegranate kombucha on draft. I like to think I have a personal chef who cooks organic yummy meals for me whenever I want them. I feel rich today.

I stop by American Apparrel looking for some pants. The sales girl walks me around the store and shows me the things she loves that just came in, but aren't on the floor yet. I feel like I have my own personal shopper. I feel rich today.

A bit hungry (because I ate only half my breakfast), I walk over to the Delmarette for a warm cheese scone and a cup of light roast Verve coffee. I feel rich today.

I found seven stretchy bracelets strung with silver beads and fresh water pearls. I bought them last weekend at the Napa General Store and forgot about them. I slip them on and, oh, I feel rich today.

My Mom boiled two freshly-caught Dungeness crabs for dinner. Oooo...the succulent meat...dipped into warm pots of sweet butter. I feel rich today.

I usually bake on Sundays. Me and my fam take one skinny piece of cake and I take the rest to work. Elizabeth Falkner of Citizen Cake shared a recipe on Daily Candy:  Pumpkin Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting. A tender orange crumb balanced with a creamy, tangy frosting. Heaven! I make about 15 of them. I'd never buy that many from her bakery so I feel rich today.
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May richness surround you today.

Warmly,


Catherine

Job Shift

I've been thinking what I might call my collection of blog entries. I remember reading a great book years ago called Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantage of a Painful Childhood by Wayne Muller. A great title with a great message. I believe there are spiritual advantages in my job situation.

You know how careful I am to focus only on the good. The word "layoff" does not fall into that category. I think I'll call the collection:  The Gift of a Job Shift. I like it. Wouldn't it be great if I published a book about my journey?

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Rain washed my world today...how sweet the air.

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Several weeks ago, the CRV's battery was disconnected for a few minutes. The clock hasn't worked since. For some reason, I can't reset it like I usually do by pressing the H and the M.

I took the CRV to the garage to have the left headlight and a tail light replaced. I asked Nick about resetting the clock and he said he needed the code (whatever that is). If I didn't have it, he'd have to call the Dealer on Monday.

While at home, I felt compelled to clean out the trunk of my other car, the Civic. Since I'm playing at being conscious and present in each moment, I carefully examined every item I found. There...tucked into a fat little manual...was a 2"x3" card with the code.

I don't know why the CRV manual was in the Civic. I don't know how that tiny card stayed in the manual without getting lost as it was shoved into bags and tossed around the trunk. And I don't know why I felt I had to clean out the trunk then (which is something I just don't do).

All I know is that I asked for help...and I was answered...with no effort on my part.

It reminds me of the Sun. It seems to rise and shine and set without any help from me. It's there all the time, even when I forget about it or take it for granted or can't see it. It just keeps doing what it does, but I think it's extra happy when I call on it to shine on me and when I say thank you.

P.S.  I picked up the CRV an hour later and Nick said "no charge" and he reset the clock. Things just get better and better.

May you be surprised with unexpected gifts today.

Warmly,


Catherine

I Am A Thief

My 80-year old Mother was all smiles (and without teeth) when she told me she's been saving up money because she wants to give me a $1000, for no reason at all. I felt bad because she lives on a tiny income from Social Security. "You don't have to do that," I said and watched her joy deflate and disappear. I realized in that moment that she's probably been saving for months. I imagined her pulling out bills from her secret hiding place and counting it at night and thinking what she wouldn't buy tomorrow so she could add to her little stash. Who am I to steal her joy? So I took a deep breath and said, "Thank you. That's very thoughtful. You're very generous." And her smile came out like the sun behind the clouds. 

I have a generous heart and I love, love, love giving gifts. What makes me think it is any less joyous for others? I am a thief. I have stolen your joy. Forgive me for pushing away your gifts. Forgive me for making them less important by resisting them. Today I will practice saying, "Thank you."


The traffic slowed on the way to work because dew lay heavy on the road. It gave me extra time to deliberately create.

I have been very careful to focus only on the good so that I stay in a good place so only good things comes to me. I pull down my visor to hide the lighted "SLIPPERY ROAD" sign hanging over the highway. I turn my head aside to avoid seeing more than a second of the car, tow truck and CHP on the side of the road.


I'm playing around with an idea of the company I want to work for. It's a newborn idea and I keep it hidden in my heart. I don't want to hear why it is impossible so I keep it to myself. I want to deliberately create it, envision it, pretend and imagine it. I wrote down the name of the company and sealed it in an envelope with Bill's name on it. It's on my desk. We'll see what happens.


Sometimes...I feel...expansive...and all-powerful. I had one of those moments today as I was leaving work and getting on the freeway. It filled my heart...and bubbled over...and spilled out...and I yelled, "I LOVE YOU ALL AND I'M GLAD I'M HERE"...and waved to the guy in the car next to me.


My daughter, Alexis, doesn't call things "problems." She calls them "situations."

Sometimes I see this situation at work like I've been standing on the edge of a diving board for a long time...looking down into the water...thinking how deep it is...and what I might do, what I could do, what I should do...but never jumping. And then BAM...something shakes the ground...it reverberates up the metal sides of the diving platform...and travels along the diving board...and I wouldn't say I was pushed (because I don't think my angels and etheric guides do such things), but I would say it was impossible to stay on that board and I just kinda fell off. I know the water's warm and I know how to swim, but I'm falling and I haven't hit the water yet.

Other times it seems like I've been shot out of a cannon...and I'm flying through the air...looking down on the circus...seeing the clowns (you know who they are), bearded lady and elephants. I know there's a net some place, I just haven't hit it yet.

Bill says I'm like a little plum tree. The only way you get the fruit is to grab it by the trunk and shake it really hard. Hmmm. I think I like the image of waving at the circus clowns as I fly overhead better.

May you be the clown and not the guy who follows the elephants.

Warmly,


Catherine

Gratitude At Work

Today...I want to focus on gratitude.

Wisps of pink, cotton candy clouds streak across a baby blue sky...thank you, thank you, thank you (I am inspired to say "thank you" three times based on Wayne Dyer's movie, The Shift). My car (a 2001 Honda Civic) is in perfect working order and like-new condition...thank you, thank you, thank you. There is an abundance of free-flowing traffic ("traffic" is a positive because I imagine millions of people driving to good jobs at a good company for a good boss and good co-workers doing good work for good pay with good benefits in a good environment)...thank you, thank you, thank you. A few trees are aflame with color and stand out against the evergreens...thank you, thank you, thank you. The air is fresh and clean...thank you, thank you, thank you. I get to commute through the mountains so I have time to focus on what I am wanting...thank you, thank you, thank you.

I have my very own office with everything I need...thank you, thank you, thank you. I have an electric stapler that punches through stacks of paper...thank you, thank you, thank you. My computer is so reliable; it saves me time and makes my job easier...thank you, thank you, thank you. Pandora plays only music that I love...thank you, thank you, thank you.  I get to see Bill, my very best friend, (don't feel hurt; I have several best friends; my best friend at work, my best friend in the family, etc.) every day and talk about anything I'm thinking and feeling, knowing he'll accept it, that is, of course, after he mocks me and makes me laugh...thank you, thank you, thank you.


DECISION

I've decided to stop making lists. I used to have several lists, all organized and categorized, with hundreds of things to do. As I started to make a list for my blog, I realized that those old lists were based on an old inspiration of my old self at an old time. This blog is different. It's based on my instantaneous and spontaneous thoughts and feelings, not stagnant stuff. So I'm leaving my lists behind for now, trusting I will be inspired to do the right thing at the right time.


OBSERVATION

I have forgotten to eat dinner for several days now (not to worry, I've got enough stored body energy to last me a while). My mind has been on the important, rather than the immediate. I think that as I lighten my spirit, mind and heart, my body seems to follow.


INSPIRATION

Writing this blog has clarified my purpose. I realize now that I was born to inspire, uplift and love.


REALIZATION

I always looked at the internet as an information tool. Now I see it is a powerful creation tool. When writing my blog, I am flooded with hundreds of ideas and thoughts and things I want to try and do and explore and share. All of that is creating...making things better...doing things differently...trying something new. THAT is what living is all about...that excitement, energy and fun. I want to LIVE, not be alive. I want to FLOURISH, not just exist. I want to LOVE, not hold it in.

I was carrying around my Getting Into the Vortex book like a bankie. I realized I don't need to have it with me all the time. I've absorbed enough information and it's inside me if I need it (and besides, my purse was getting heavy).

I used to reads lots of how-to books. I may have a hundred books on marketing and starting a business. I realized I'm not drawn to them right now. I don't want to read what someone else has done; maybe they did it the hard way, not the heart way. I want to stop hoarding hardbound information that may be old by the time I get to it. I don't want to think about what I might do...could do...should do. I just want to DO...what I'm guided to...based on inspiration, not obligation.


VISUALIZATION

Good-intentioned friends offer me advice:  stay safe, stay close, stay comfortable. But when I think about what I really want, it doesn't match the possibilities here. I don't want to settle. I sense that path leads to stagnation and, for me, the death of Spirit.

For now, I'm going to state what I want and put it out there to the Universe. And then wait a bit and see what guidance I receive and what comes my way. The company has changed; well, so have I. I want more this time. I want different.

This is the kind of place I imagine working at:  I work for a good company. I like the company and the product we make. I'm proud to tell people I work here and I love handing out my business card. I love my job, helping people work better, through training, documentation, or whatever else works best. I have a variety of tasks and I'm always gently learning new things. I like and respect my manager. He knows what he's doing. I respect him and he's easy to talk to. He acknowledges, values and appreciates my contribution. He understands what I do and supports me fully. He is fair, honest and personable. I love the people I work with. We work well together and have fun, too. I know I make a difference here.

May gratitude live in your heart today.

Warmly,


Catherine

Love At Work

Today...I was thinking about yesterday...and all the abundance that flowed my way.

What if I decided ahead of time what I wanted? Hmmm...today I want to see the goodness of the Universe.

A cloud of sadness hangs in the air at work. People are silent...heads down...as they walk into the building.

I am an empath and feel their feelings...so I ground myself and surround myself with golden light.

A couple guys stand near the break room door. I sense they want to talk...so I stop and ask how they're doing. They're OK. Not bad. Doing the best they can. "Let's try to think of one good thing today," I say. We decide we are happy because we woke up today; a lot of people didn't.

I pat a back. I squeeze a hand.

The company email announcing the lay off was very business-like. I suppose that is to be expected. Full of facts...and information...and numbers.

But we are people...we are not numbers.

We feel pain...not your logic.

These people...my people...need to talk...just talk...such a small thing to ask.

Where are the managers? Who can offer comfort? But I don't suppose that's part of anyone's job description.

I am not a manager. I have no authority, but I am human. And I can let these people know I care.

And so I ask a few questions, but mostly listen...visiting break rooms a couple times a day...just to check in...ask how they're doing.

I have little offer, only my time and attention and love. I flow a little golden light around each person as I hug him...hoping it may ease his pain, give him comfort, and maybe clarity on the best course of action for him.

I will not miss this job or this company, but I will miss the people. They are my people.

I pray each finds a task he enjoys doing...where he is valued and appreciated...working for good pay...at a good company...with good benefits...a good boss and good co-workers.

Most of all, I wish them love.

And I find that love returns to me.

People visit or call me as the word gets around that our area is closing down. They say, "It was an honor working with you and I want you to know I love you." Not just one person, but five in one day. And I have told others that I love them (it's not like they're going to fire me for sexual harassment).

None of us would have ever said "I love you" to a co-worker. And now we do. What a wonderful gift that is for all of us.

What would you say to someone at work if you could?

May love surround you today.

Warmly,


Catherine

How Generous the Universe

Today...I decided not to awaken at 5:30 am...6:30 sounds better.

My eyes open before the alarm goes off. I don't wish to waste this day so I listen to a couple guided meditations by Abraham on their new Getting into the Vortex CD. What a nice way to start the day.

After getting ready, I walk out to my car. Alexis left the windows down over night so the inside of the windows are wet with dew. I open the trunk for the squeegee and find several dollars in change. How generous the Universe.

I am usually kind to Self, but today I take extra care...I feel tender and a bit fragile.

I stop by Jamba Juice as a treat and order my favorite creamy fruit blend, topped with granola and bananas. Several people get their orders before me and so I ask about it. Somehow my order never showed on the computer screen so it was never made. How strange...things like that don't happen to me. A perky young woman quickly makes my Topper...apologizes several times...and hands me a "Free Smoothie" card. Ahhh...I see. How generous the Universe.

I am working in my office when Bill rushes in...insisting I dial his wife for a 3-way call. With great ceremony, he hands me a rolled up paper, much like a diploma tied with a thin red ribbon. They've been searching for my birthday gift since June...and have been frustrated because I kept buying things for myself before they could. Kim was deteremined to find something I hadn't bought yet. She'd been following the Abraham-Hicks seminar schedule for months and pounced on the Well-Being Workshop the moment it was offered...it's scheduled for February of next year. My birthday and early Christmas present all rolled into one. I LOVE IT. How generous the Universe.

I met Grandma Betty (my ex-mom-in-law) for lunch. She was late and flustered since she missed the freeway turnoff and became confused. We enjoyed lightly-battered eggplant and chicken with snow peas at Mandarin Gourmet. She gives me a beautiful, black wallet as a late birthday present. I like it...it's very pretty. How generous the Universe.

I walk Betty to her car, pointing out uneven places in the sidewalk. She spies a penny and bends down to get it...taking a few moments to get back up. "A penny for your wallet, but it should be $10." No...the penny is found...it will bring good luck and fortune (never give an empty wallet). How generous the Universe.

My cell phone rings and I don't recognize the number. I usually don't answer, but this time I did. "Hi, this is Ray. How's your day going?" I usually hang up, but this time I respond: "I'm doing great. What can I do for you, Ray?" "Well, I noticed you bought a couple domains from Go Daddy & I wanted to review what you selected." I usually get annoyed, but this time I keep listening.  "Yeah. I just wanted to make sure you didn't over pay for anything."  I almost fell off my chair. Who ever calls you after a purchase to see if you over paid? Ray decided I didn't need those 5 email addresses I paid for since I get 1 free one with each domain. He credits my account $29.88...and waits a moment to make sure it goes through. How generous the Universe.

My current job is disappearing; they're laying me off. It would be easy to focus on that and what I will no longer have.

But that would be a reaction...taken without thought.

I want to live my life consciously...deliberately creating the good things I want.

I have so much already...a loving family (we never fight), wonderful friends that make me laugh, a reliable car in like-new condition, a beautiful home that welcomes me.

I have learned today that if I am patient and hold love in my heart, all unfolds before me at the perfect pace...in the perfect moment...generously...abundantly.

I need not struggle or try to make things happen. That only leaves me exhausted...and really, if I look at the past, it doesn't work very well. I will no longer do that.

I am beginning to accept...and allow...and believe that only good things come to me. There is so much evidence for that.

It does not matter what others think. This is my life.

It does not matter how it looks. Only time will show how resources of the Universe conspire to bring me goodness.

And with that comes Trust, who steps quietly forward and takes my hand.

Tell me, what do you believe?

May abundance surround you today.

Warmly,


Catherine

An Ending

Today...my company said they didn't need me any more.

I have until March...and then I must leave.

My manager's lips moved...but I heard little of his words...I kept thinking, "They're wrong."

Not "wrong" in the sense they are bad...but this just does not fit what I know to be true.

I am wanted...I am needed...I am valued.

I feel no sadness...no fear...just confusion.

He hands me a white envelope...saying others will have one too...I fold mine in half & hold it at my side...I do not want to feel the upset of others.

I return to my office...tuck the envelope in my purse...and walk outside.

The sun greets me and warms me with his smile...tiny birds sing to me their song...and oh, the breeze...she blows around me, lifting my hair.

The grass is still growing...it is a happy green.

The flowers still bloom...their petal faces smile at me.

I walk to my secret bench...hidden behind some pallets...facing a copse of trees.

I take off my shoes & touch the Earth with my feet...sigh...it feels good here.

The sun envelops me in a warm hug and holds me close.

The breeze, she is much stronger now...whipping around me, yet gentle some how. I sense her sweeping away the negative feelings I have picked up in my walk through the hallway...for there are others with white envelopes...badge of the unwanted.

I sit...and I breathe.

I ask the trees for strength.

I ask the breeze to uplift me.

I ask the sun to warm me.

I sit...and I breathe.

Time passes...and I smile...somehow I feel enveloped in white wings that lift me up on feathered tips.

It makes no sense to you perhaps, but I feel safe...I feel loved...I feel perfect.

It will be OK...of that I am certain...I am not sure how...or when...the details elude me.

I hear footsteps nearby and so I disconnect from my little Space of Love with the trees...and I walk back to my office.

I ask Edith to join me for a quick run to the bookstore. Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditations CD and User Guide by Esther and Jerry Hicks (The Teachings of Abraham) comes out today. I have been waiting for it for weeks. How perfect it is out today. I buy several copies so I can give them to friends.

It is a small book...with a CD.

Since forever, I have resisted meditation...I do not know why...I just know I get squirmy when I think about it and so I avoid it...although I understand its value.  I do spend quiet time...alone...consciously creating...I just do not call it "meditation."

The workbook and CD include Meditation: General Well-Being...Meditation:  Financial Abundance...how perfect is that? Oh...my heart dances and twirls in a circle in anticipation of the message I will hear.

After dropping Edith back at the office, I go home.

I want to be alone.

I need to process this.

The sky is a beautiful blue and is completely without clouds...open...spacious...without limits...just like life.

What can I do to take care of myself right now?

I drive to the New Leaf Market in a tiny town near the Santa Cruz Mountains.  I buy a fresh squeezed juice...something green, sweetened by fruit with a dab of bee pollen.

I sit outside at a tiny table in the sun...sipping my bee juice...and just "be"...and read Abraham...ahhh...how blessed I am to have you in my life...thank you for all you do.

The words inspire me...they uplift me...I feel loved.

I revel in this space for a time...before going home.

I don't want to tell my Mother...she's 80 and lives with me...she will worry and fret...and talk to neighbors...and then they'll all talk...and soon a whirlwind of fear will move down our tiny street.

I won't tell my daughter yet...she's in college and lives with me...she will handle it better, I think...but for right now, I just want to focus on me.

This is an internal thing.

I want no distractions.

I have found many times...when sharing something with another...how quickly it can shift to that person and not me...I do not know how this happens, but it does not feel good...I do not want it at this time.

I go into my room...lie on my chaise...cover myself with a white "mink" stole...and slip the CD into the player.

I am transported to a good place...a beautiful place...a loving place...an easy place...and I breathe (that's part of the meditation...telling how to breathe in...when to breathe out...I need that now...simple instructions to tell me to do simple tasks).

Jerry Hicks recommends meditating just for 15 minutes a day so that we might live our life fully...but right now, I need more...and so I listen to all the meditations...one after the other...first General Well-Being...then Financial Abundance...on to Physical Well-Being...then a few words about Relationships and I slip into sleep.

I awaken 2 hours later...feeling refreshed...alert...and eager somehow.

I am prompted to share where I am right now...and to take others on this journey of discovery...holding hands so that we might not be alone.

I had thought to start a blog a while back...but letting blocks get in my way, I did nothing...but now...how perfect...a big event fills me with the need to share.

I hope you will join me on this little adventure...I need to know you are there.

Somehow the thought of sharing with strangers is comforting to me...perhaps feeling you will be more honest with me than well-intending friends who want to comfort.

So please...do not send me sadness...send me strength.

Do not send me fear...send me courage.

Do not send me despair...send me hope.

And in return I shall bless those feelings...envelop them in golden light and send them back to you one thousand fold.

Now it is time...I have given birth to my baby blog...and send it in its infancy into the world...hoping it will be found and accepted by those with a loving spirit and an open heart.

Tell me not your sorrow...your fear...or your anger.

Do not list what we cannot do.

Instead, tell me what we can do...and what did you do to lift your spirit in times like these.

May joy be in your heart today.

Warmly,


Catherine